History

A Pro of being in somalia
Iftar is at 6 rather than 9 if i was in Canada

How my bro got trapped in somalia Part 1

Rmbr
How this trip to somalia was all based around my 2 bro’s? The 17 yr old & 13 yr old?
U know the kind where u give em a bull shit story & it ends in their entrapment in somalia.

Well this like all these good stories started with a lie. After saudi my mom sprang the news of us going to somalia to the 17 yr old 2 days before we’re leaving.
U know what my ma said? Lmao she goes us going to somalia is TOOOTALLy random, it’s one of our transit we have to stay in xamar for 3 days. My 17 yr old bro says NOOO im not going T O S O M A L I A period.
After my mom showed him our flight itenary that proved we’d be staying in xamar for 3 days then off to France & then canada did he slightly calm down but he was still saying no.
So after hours on hours of my mom talking to him & my dad calling him & my grandma & uncles & aunts & cousins consoling & comforting my brother did we all leave saudi still tho unsure on the outcome of what the 17 yr old will do.
In Dubai our 1st transit we had to stay there for 2 days. We touched down & waiting for us is a somali man kinda old our taxi driver whom my mom was in contact with. As We got our stuff he impressed me he was learning our names tryna put effort into knowing who we r & when he sees how much shiet he says we’re gonna have to make 2 trips. Ok right? Omgg so we get to his car its this dark green jeep it looks naaaarce & im like what this dude prob? Everything can fit! I approach the jeep he goes oh nonono not that car, its that one he points to the one next to it. Lmao it was some BEAT UP Honda civic the olden kind with fur on the dash. I go oooooohkay i get it now. My mom says we the girls will make the first trip to the hotel u boys sit tight. As we r packing his car, ma tell me go sit in the front with him. Taken back i had just assumed hooya would be sitting in the front, we argued im like ma nigga u married sit in the front with the man, in young single he might try some shit with me, or get wild ideas of marrying my ass
Besides YOU r the one having a convo with him… I just cant like i cant, all my points were valid it made sense but she was having none of that & she won. So it was me, him in the front ma DIRECTLY behind him in the back & my lil sis next to her. They actually had a convo like this hooya talking to the back of this man’s head. It was horrible. Anyways they talked & he told us if we get pulled over to say he is our uncle & that he came to pick us up from the airport & to NOT say anything about him being a taxi driver cuz he doesnt have a taxi permit?????At this point im cryyyyyyyying where do my people pull this shit out from? So my mom tells this man the whole story of why we r in Dubai how we r gonna trick my brother & this man is agreeing, he LOOVIN it he sayin this is the best thing u’ll ever do for him (trapping him in somalia he means)

What is this place

A stray bullet went thru a house landed in my neighbours head. I asked she dead?
They said they dont know how she is. Im all confused cuz clearly that was a rhetorical question??? Nigga gets shot clear in her head SHE DEAD

Our maid goes aaah this feels just like xamar

I said whaaa? Da fuk goes on in xamar? just like xamar? *french Montana voice* huuuuunh?
She like yea this girl minding her business cooking in her house pots boiling & a stray bullet goes thru her
she lands face first into her pot food splashing everywhere so of course they couldn’t eat the food my maid says like THAT was the main concern.

Ramadan is coming #GamesOfFast

"I could’ve been done now"
-When Held Back

The Devil wears a Hijab

Tell me how in dugsi a girl bent for rukuh & she started
TWERKIN 4 da gurl behind her

The thirst is unreal

I walk into the scene. & the guys r STRESSIN over me. Example A im in a restaurant i wash my hands. This guy FLIES across the room to give me tissue, im like damn this is good service. My bro washes his hands, GOES TO the guy asks him can i have tissue? This nigga goes do u not have eyes? What am i ur slave? It’s right there. Go get it.

U will get shot, bombed or raped

I can’t tell if Kismayo is bunks or it just feels like that cuz im trapped in my house

How low we’ve come

The same brother who laughed with me at these ridiculously cheap prices 3 months later now i told him im gonna buy a pack of candy. He said how much i told him 20 000 shillings aka a dollar he snapped he goes ur gonna spend a whole DOLLAR ON A BAG OF CANDY
Lmaoo

Living in somalia u realize the luxuries in life. Everything here is cray cheap but the way money gets spent u have to really think about it. When i get 5 dollars i snap,
Im bouncing off walls telling my sibling’s GET DRESSED WE EATIN GOOOOOOOOD TONIIIIIIGHT
& 2 days later i cry cuz i have no money

Kismaayo

Out here in Kismayo, no Internet except for this cafe in Argo so much shit happened. I’ve seen so much. Wallahi the stories i have can go on for days. This place is something else. Im coming back to the land of the living aka canada the first week of August & you BEST BELIEVE you will be getting updates i cant even write in a one hour session the amount of things that happened to us. In the 1st day we came there was a bombing a block a way
The next day a rape
The day after soliders took a man st night to the wilderness & shot him execution style for being ex-Shukri ( our code name for al shabab)
The 4the day a woman our neighbour burned down her home with her children in it cuz she found out her husband got a 2nd wife in a neighbouring city (thankfully everyone made it out all right but she did spend the night in jail)
& my lil bro got kidnapped.
This is all n the first few days i was here ! I’ve been here almost 3 months
The stooooooories i have
Omg omg omg
Get ready for my return in August

keepya-head-up:

In college, a guy tried to pull a hijab off a girls head. My friend and I saw him and beat him up. Some teachers stopped us and they took us to the head teacher’s office. The head teacher had CCTV footage of us beating the guy up and said “do you have anything to say?” My friend asked if he could have a copy of the video. We got suspended.

scaryniner:

Listening to drake at the gym, people think this is sweat rolling down my face but it’s actually tears

(Source: swooshmami)

Fuck i just need to be honest